Wow, I’m sitting here and I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I wrote to you guys. Gosh, so much has happened. Too much to talk about. However, I will give you the cliff notes. I gained weight back, lost it, gained it, lost it, and am still fighting. I lost sight of my running goals for awhile, I will explain more to that later, but it’s been a topsy-Turvy roundabout for me.
I do need to start this post by issuing an apology. I’m hearty sorry for ditching my readers for so long. It was a down time for me, I had a lot of internal struggles and I feel like I let a lot of you down. I’ve been told by some that I’m an inspiration and that what I do has pushed folks to reach their goals, but sometimes I feel like a fraud. I don’t feel like I deserve to be put on such a pedistool since I am far from perfect. Having said that, when I lost my running knack, I felt like I was letting all those folks down and that made me shy away from writing here.
I figured I’d give a brief account of what I went through and why I slowed my run, no pun itended. Not only because I want to be open and honest on this blog, but also that I feel like it perhaps could help someone out going through similar experiences.
When I was younger and bigger, I recieved a lot of criticism from outsiders and it really affected me, but anyone that’s read this blog before knows this. Part of me thought this would cease as I shrunk down. Turns out, I was incorrect.
A few months ago, I was met with harsh words from an outsider about me and my running. I won’t go into specifics since I’ve put it behind me and learned that not all people are going to be fully supportive. However, at the time I recieved such negativity I was stressed. I fell into the hole and let the words affect me, way more than they should have. I slowed my running, ate poorly out of stress and began to see myself fall into the dark ways that I had worked so hard to get out of.
Then I had a dream one night. A dream about my old self, presumably brought on by the stress, and it clicked. I saw my past and it freightened my greatly. I woke up as if I had had a nightmare: I didn’t want to relive that all over again so I bucked up and vowed to change.
So after a long and calm hour of thought, I finally started to realize that not everybody is going to agree with me. People may find what I do to be pointless or stupid or constantly remind me of future knee problems.
Some may say that what I do is nothing and anybody could do it so I shouldn’t go broadcasting it for all to see. To them I say, to each their own. I don’t put you down for your inactivity so don’t question me for the opposite. Please keep your opinions to yourself and don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. For any of you going through any sort of problems thanks to the words of others, just remember I am here for you and will always be here for you.
Just remember the words of my favorite musical artist of all time and tell them….
You can speak your mind, but not on my time.
The Walking Non-Dead 